Miguel Angel Jimenez

On Miguel Angel Jimenez

The year was 1964.  The Beatles were preparing to perform on the Ed Sullivan Show. The Browns were en route to their last Super Bowl win.  A historic year was in the making, but elsewhere more significant events were taking place.

On a quiet night in the foothills of southern Spain, a baby boy was born. This baby was just like any other; only he exhibited some unique qualities.  When his parents brought him home from the hospital that night, they were surprised to find that this baby preferred the taste of fine wine to milk, and rather than eating mashed carrots, he demanded exquisite cheeses and premium cuts of rare beef.

The young Spaniard sprouted a full bush of pubes at six months.  By the age of five he had a rockin’ ponytail and two girlfriends who were both high school seniors.  His golden chest hair was visible through the top of his OshKosh B’gosh’s on the day his father lit him up his first Cuban.  As he continued to mature, this man child named Miguel Angel Jimenez continued to refine his style, eventually growing up to become a pro golfer who is still a hero in his home country today.

Lately, however, his celebrity status has stretched beyond Spain.  More and more spectators worldwide are turning on their TVs to see Jimenez because he is so drastically different from what they’re used to.  Everyone from frat brothers to grandmothers recognize that Jimenez has his priorities straight.  Brush away the cigar smoke and look beyond the glass of Merlot filled to the brim, and it quickly becomes obvious that this guy just does not give a shit.

Dubbed “The Most Interesting Man in Golf”, Jimenez first wants to live a fun, carefree life, and if he can win a golf tournament or two while he’s at it, that’s a bonus.  And that’s what makes this bro so likeable.  While most pros are at the range or working out at the gym, he’s working on his base, catching a buzz in a hot tub with a variety pack of supermodels.  Or at least that’s what we assume he’s up to.

Thankfully, people are finally realizing what a gem this guy is.  His recent spike in popularity is because at the spry age of 50, he’s having the year of his career.  He’s popping up on leader boards almost weekly and he even took home a win last weekend at the Spanish Open.  Sure, this hot streak has come late in his career, but there’s no reason homeboy can’t continue to rack up wins.  And if for some reason he doesn’t play in another golf tournament again, something tells me this ponytailed stallion will find a reason to dust off the corkscrew.  Golf or no golf, he’s a model human being that we can all strive to be like every day.

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